The Cult of Fools – “FBI Search Mar-a-Lago” – Aug 14, 2022

By bdk, CC BY-SA 3.0

The FBI descending upon Mar-a-Lago has been the political earthquake moment of the week.

(Sarcasm mode on)

This is very concerning for some. It could have a very chilling effect on every future presidents’ ability to hide classified materials.

It is both deeply scary stuff and also a new precedent. Now the FBI can investigate people that don’t want to be investigated so long as they have a valid search warrant and probable cause. What is as scary as hell is that all of this could happen to any of us who stole nuclear documents for the purposes of espionage.

What you have to appreciate is that the privacy of a man’s crime safe is sacrosanct. Where will all this go next, because clearly the great American tradition of elite impunity has been smashed.

I mean FFS people, how will the authoritarians overthrow democracy or sell nuclear secrets to the highest bidder if the law keeps getting in their way?

As a side note, I would really like to know if the constitution states if you can or cannot wipe your bum with Nuclear Secrets and then flush them down the toilet? (I’m asking for an ex-President).

Well yes, clearly the actual initial reactions from the GOP talking heads have been firmly rooted in the deep-seated, fear that government will start treating rich white people the same way they treat poor Black people.

Meanwhile, can I just drop this here …

Just how fucking guilty do you have to be for a federal judge that you appointed, to sign off on a search warrant issued by an FBI director that you also appointed, and then have it executed by a DOJ attorney that you also appointed?

If you can’t buy obedient flunkies via bribery and payoffs then we live in truly dark times.

For those not up to speed on events since the raid, it has panned out roughly like this …

  • Tue/Wed: MAGA GQP – “Unseal the warrant”
  • Thur: DOJ – “Ok”
  • Fri: MAGA GQP – “Oh shit! … wait no”

We now have Schrodinger’s evidence. It was both planted, but also at the exact same time, not planted, because it was declassified.

Is it now possible that the guy who lied about the elections results and rather a lot of other things is lying about evidence being planted?

Moving on, below you will find my usual selection of some truly bizarre claims that have popped up during the last 7 days. Each is laced with my snarky commentary. With my usual hat tip to my various sources, let’s dive in.


The Mar-a-Lago Raid

The essence of the many many wight-wing nut-job rants can be summed up as this – “If DOJ can search someone’s home for missing classified documents, on a search warrant signed by a judge after evidence is presented of sufficient probable cause, we have basically become a totalitarian police state where there is no liberty or freedom.

Here are a couple of the more way-out-there examples

Christian hate-preacher Greg Locke, as we might all expect, went on an unhinged rant regarding the raid at Mar-a-Lago. It’s all the conspiracy theories rolled into one. Link to twitter extract of it here

  • Basically Hunter Biden’s laptop, then on to paranoia on Steroids … “They are coming for our churches, they are coming for our kids … “, etc …
  • He also claims to have evidence of what is on Hunter’s laptop, yet for some strange reason he has not handed it over to the authorities. Is he perhaps waiting for an FBI warrant?

Christian conspiracy theorist Kat Kerr insists the search of Donald Trump’s home was unwarranted because God is on his side. “Sometimes, I know covert stuff that I can’t talk about…” She adds that Trump will be back in power within three months.

  • There is a great deal that she knows absolutely nothing about. Unfortunately, that’s the stuff she spouts exclusively all day, every day.
  • I’ve literally lost count of the number of times that the “Trump will be back in office any day now” claim card has been played. Knowing this lot, they will still be playing it for many more decades long after Trump is in prison or dead.

Florida Lawmaker Demands State Police ‘Physically Prevent’ Federal Law Enforcement From Investigating or Arresting Trump

  • What happened to “Back the Blue”? … well it goes like this – back the blue when they are arresting undocumented immigrants, liberals, people of color, and/or Antifa. DO NOT back the blue when they come after conservatives.
  • To be honest, yes, no more federal $$ or law enforcement and then see how that plays out in Florida.

GQP Updates

It is a sign of just how far-right the GOP has become that Christian nationalist Oklahoma state Senate candidate Jarrin Jackson can declare with a straight face that “Dick Cheney is a godless commie.

  • In his rant he also mixes up Star Wars and Star Trek. I suspect fans from both those camps are now out for his blood.
  • Not sure why he thinks broadcasting from his Mom’s basement sends out a viable “senate candidate” aura.
  • Regarding his Dick Cheney quip, he appears to have swung so far to the right that he has now hooked up with the left.

Taking The Fifth

While campaigning in 2016, Trump suggested not answering questions was a sign of guilt. It was at a campaign stop in Iowa in 2016, that Trump specifically said, “If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?


Christian nationalist pseudo-historian Tim Barton explains that the US has more mass shootings than other nations “because we still have freedom here. We haven’t had communism, we haven’t socialism, we haven’t had Marxism.

  • Do you think he realises he’s saying “other countries don’t have gun violence because everyone doesn’t have a gun”?
  • His “Freedom” is when you or a 4th grader gets randomly shot for no reason at all.
  • Personally, I’m just not on board with a constant flow of human sacrifices for his 2nd amendment interpretation that neglects the “well regulated” bit.

Christian Nationalism

Christian fascist Dalton Clodfelter would like to see Addison Rae burned alive at the stake for wearing a “blasphemous” bikini.

  • I have no doubts that he has spent many many hours “studying” the evidence.
  • I’ve got $30 that says he tried to slide into her DMs and she ignored him.
  • Meanwhile, somebody rather famous once advised … “if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee

Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick declares that “we were a nation founded upon not the words of our founders, but the words of God because He wrote the Constitution.

  • He is literally claiming that Republican God wrote that “Congress shall make no law [even] respecting an establishment of religion
  • If indeed Republican God wrote the constitution, then every single amendment is blasphemy … and that includes the 2nd.
  • Dan appears to be quite determined to push “Ridiculous” out into previously unexplored territory.
  • You would think that John O’Sullivan‘s “manifest destiny” from 1845 has had its day, but no, here it is on steroids in 2022.

An opinion piece in the @ChristianPost claims the abortion rights side won in Kansas largely because there was “mass confusion” over the wording of the amendment.

  • It would have actually been a tad more honest if the article had explained that anti-abortion Republicans had written it that way *in order* to confuse people. Lying appears to be literally the new Christian sacrament.
  • Apparently they are now paying $200K for a recount. They could have saved themselves a lot of bother and cash because there is no way they are legally finding 165,000 more votes.

I’ll just leave this tweet from @RightWingWatch here to polish off this section …

Truly Bizarre

The Transformed Wife advises … “There are women on social media who claim they are “Christians” but teach women they don’t have to submit to their husbands, they don’t have to be keepers at home, and they don’t have to dress modestly. Don’t learn from them. They are in rebellion to God and His Word.

  • Translation: The road to Hell is paved with, uh … working women who are equal partners in a marriage!!
  • Observation: If she really practised what the bible says (1 Timothy 2:12 – I do not permit women to teach or assume authority over man; she must be quiet), then she should not be tweeting about anything ever. By Tweeting, she is clearly (*checks notes) … “in rebellion to God and His Word
  • Meanwhile … Gun-Toting insurrectionists – not a problem. Women just leading normal lives – “That’s the road to hell“.

Laura Loomer tells Alex Jones that the two of them have been widely deplatformed because they are “the best investigative journalists alive.

Salt Lake County council member Dave Alvord says unborn babies are not part of a mother’s body because the umbilical cord and placenta do not connect directly to the woman.

  • Being totally clueless appears to be a mandatory requirement for some these days.
  • When the wholly valid evidence-based criticism ramped up, he simply doubled down. Don’t you just love the backfire effect.

The False Profit$

Pastor Kent Christmas claims the Supreme Court ruled that vaccines can’t be called vaccines anymore because they alter DNA. (Well yes dear reader, you and I understand that this is BS). He justified it like this … “It’s an age-old ancient task of the enemy to alter the DNA. That’s why you’re having all this sexual confusion.

  • Ancient task” … “alter DNA“, as described in one of these bible books: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Watson, Crick.
  • Finally, one of them admits that it is not a lifestyle choice, and that people are the way they are because of their DNA
  • I’d place very good money on a bet that if asked, he would not be able to tell you what the letters DNA stand for.

MAGA cultist/pastor Shane Vaughn blames Barack Obama for the search at Mar-a-Lago, warning that he’ll be punished by God for it: “Watch out sir. There’s going to be a day of vengeance by God Almighty.”

Interesting Articles

Statistic of the week

Ryan gives us a rather important insight. What people believe and what group they identify with most probably do not line up.

The context is him commenting on a WSJ article that claims that many nones are actually religious. He points out that their data source for their claim is deeply flawed. They make the fundamental mistake of conflating what people said they believe (“don’t know if god exists”) with how people identify (“agnostic”).

Meanwhile …

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