Cult of Fools Weekly (June 2, 2024) – “Convicted Felon”

When you read the title “Convicted Felon” then you immediately knew whom I was referring to without any need to pause and think. I mean seriously now, it would have been more or less impossible to miss it…

… or to put that another way, we now live in a world where Republicans are no longer enjoying “Law and Order”.

Let’s also briefly give it a bit more context. We have these guys:

… and now finally we have the one we have all been waiting for to join the chain gang…

  • Donald Trump, himself: CONVICTED FELON.

Every single member of the jury had a stand up and say 34 counts guilty. it was 100%. Just for the record, not even Juror # 2, the Truth Social crayon eating nut, voted “Not Guilty” on anything, the evidence against Trump was that damming …

Reminder: This is only just the beginning. Trump has 3 more criminal cases. This New York case was the weakest of the 4. Let that sink in.

As is very predictable, the usual talking heads from his MAGA Cult popped up to parrot Trump lies … and promptly got appropriately flamed …

  • When Lauren Boebert or Tommy Tuberville say something profoundly stupid, it follows. But Cruz, and Hawley above, do actually know better and so they are deliberately practising very blatant deceit.
  • Or to put that another way … “The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.” – George Orwell, 1984

Hawley was not the only one who flushed his basic values down the toilet in a very public manner, the speaker of the House also did …

Some, such as Josh Dugger‘s wife, were also desperate to tee themselves up for a burn, and sure enough, social media delivered …

However, this next one is a beauty. The man is such a turd that even the Encyclopaedia piled into the fray to celebrate, and least you wonder, yes they really have (I checked, its in the first paragraph of his biography) …

There is perhaps one big life lesson here – Live your life in such a way that the entire champagne industry doesn’t enjoy a windfall the day you’re finally convicted of something.

Oh and also, let’s not let this pass without the perpetual reminder that white evangelicals gave up the moral high ground in 2016 when they traded in their supposed “values” for some like-minded judges. Most of them will no doubt now continue to illustrate that as they vote for the guy who was already a convicted fraudster and sexual abuser, and is now a 34-times felon. It will only confirm what we always knew about them—and hopefully hasten the exodus out the church doors.

OK, one last item on this – here is perhaps the stupidest reaction of them all …

  • So who wants to break the news to her that NY pays more out than it receives in federal funding. Cutting them off will result in cutting off funds to red states such as hers?

Moving on, below you will once again find my usual selection of some of the other truly bizarre and extreme claims that have popped up during the last 7 days. Each is as usual laced with my snarky commentary. 

With my usual hat tip to my various sources, let’s once again dive into this very murky pool of absurdity and stupidity. 

Christian Nationalism

Christian nationalist pastor Joel Webbon says women should not be allowed to vote because politics is war and “the sword has been given to men”: “The sword is—without being crude, I think this is a fact—it is a phallus. It is assigned by God to men.”

  • This is the same guy who uses the Bible to argue for the existence of mermaids, Bigfoot, Dragons from Hollow earth, and fairies … I’m not convinced his grasp of reality is all that solid. Should he himself actually be voting or even allowed out in public without an adult?

Never forget that Christian nationalist legislators like Oklahoma state Sen. Dusty Deevers are intent on outlawing birth control.

  • I might indeed joke about every sperm being sacred, but that’s where some of these lunatics really are intent upon taking us.

Antisemitic Christian nationalist Andrew Torba helpfully admits that … “in recent years, the Appeal to Heaven Flag has been adopted by Christian Nationalists as a symbol of their commitment to upholding the principles of faith, freedom, and self-governance. As a Christian Nationalist myself, I have been flying the flag outside my home for over five years.”

  • That’s a cue for Alito to rush on from stage right and yell at him to stop saying the quiet part out loud.

The Cult of Trump

When former President Donald Trump was found guilty in his hush-money case yesterday, MAGA World went into a full meltdown. If curious, then RRW compiled an overview (but be warned, you will be left wondering how so many could be so utterly stupid).

  • Least you wonder why, what has happened to them is that it has come to a point where they have invested so much time and emotion in the con that they are now unable to let go. The only path they feel they have is to double down. They can never admit in public that they have been utterly and completely conned, so they prefer to commit social Seppuku rather than admit they were wrong and face a public shaming.

While former President Donald Trump was still on trial for breaking the law while trying to cover up an adulterous affair, religious-right commentator Sandy Rios insists that his commitment to his wife Melania shows he’s a man of character who has “great respect” for God.

  • Is there anybody who is so deeply stupid that they would actually believe this? (No need to answer, we can all rather sadly confirm it)
  • This perhaps illustrates it best …

More Fun With Flags

Guess who made a recent ruling that flying a flag conveys a message to anybody seeing it …

Bible “Truth”

Tim Barton delivered a presentation for Memorial Day in which he argued that “God is not anti-war” and is actually “in favor of wars sometimes.”

  • That’s the pure beauty of the Bible. It is the ultimate Rorschach test. It can be, and has been, used to justify almost anything at all.

Homophobia on Steroids

Jason Rapert is outraged that the Libertarian Party nominated a gay man as its presidential candidate: “Another sign the nation is going to hell in a hand basket. When are you going to finally stand up loud and strong Americans?”

  • Mr Rapert simply has no clue what Libertarianism actually is … especially the part about tolerance for diverse lifestyles.
  • It’s really not a surprise, Mr Rapert being clueless is his primary modus operandi.

Because of the month we are now in plenty of mud is being thrown by the usual suspects. I’ll not rake any of it up, but will instead simply drop this here …

Even Weirder

Nick Fuentes’s effort to pass off his pro-Nazism as anti-Stalinism might work better if he hadn’t been so open about his idolization of Joseph Stalin.

  • Least you wonder, he is, and always has been, a con artist. He’ll blow with whatever far right wind sends him the most $$ and tap into the revenue stream via donations and conferences.

Someone should explain to Kandiss Taylor that “furries” is not “bestiality.”


Dalton Clodfelter is realizing that being an antisemitic white nationalist Christian fascist livestreamer might limit his future career opportunities: “I decided to say the N-word, I decided to say that I love Hitler … and now I’m here.”

  • For a bit of context, what is happening is that he has been banned by every payment processor, so he can’t get access to any donations.

The False Profit$

Christian Nationalist pastor Shane Vaughn says pastors don’t have to be poor and it’s okay for him to drive an expensive car. After all, he says, Jesus was wealthy. “Almost a million dollars was given to the Baby Jesus.

  • Well yes $1 Million dollars, but those were Zimbabwean dollars, which is about US 23¢
  • Fact Check: Bible Jesus: “go and sell what thou hast and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in Heaven; and come and follow Me.Matthew 19:21… meanwhile, Shane’s Republican Jesus says, “go and sell what thou hast and give to the PASTOR so that he can continue to grift off gullible fools and have a lavish lifestyle”
  • Fact Check 2: He claims Mark has a reference to Jesus having a house … and while the KJV verse in Mark 2:15 is open to interpretation … “as Jesus sat at meat in his house” … the NIV translation makes it a lot clearer … “While Jesus was having dinner at Levi’s house“. Shane calls people who supposedly don’t know that Jesus had a house “poor uneducated fools“, yet it turns out that the “poor uneducated fool” is him.
  • Reminder: Shane has a lengthy criminal record for fraud that comes from a time when he was a pastor … so basically not much has changed for him.

More than a week after the death of Iran’s President Ebrahim Raisi, Christian “prophetess” Kat Kerr insists God told her it was going to happen.

  • Fake Prophet 101: Claim that God told you it was going to happen after it happens and never ever before.
  • Meanwhile, God told me that she was going to say this.

On May 29, MAGA ‘Prophet’ Julie Green says God told her that Trump is going to win his trial.

  • What we have all now learned is that apparently God continues to prank Julie Green.

Gaza Update

Some really do get it …

As for the “yes but” folks, this is what they are really saying …

and some really do need it explained using crayons …

Meanwhile Bernie is taking the right stance …

Fox News was busy being Fox News

The Fox News De Niro fan club was in full swing earlier in the week, and as is usual, they were devoid of facts, but local people really don’t forget the things he did for them …

  • As for the things De Niro has not done: … Ya Robert, Have you bankrupted 3 casinos, do you have an uncomfortable amount of personal photos with Epstein, are you facing 91 felonies for betraying yourself, your family, and eventually your country. I think the answer is No Robert, you haven’t.


Some really do tee themselves up for a fall on twitter, here is a well-played clap-back by Rick Steves …

We also need to also remember to thank God for answering Franklin’s prayers …

As for the latest news this past week, yes, my favourite guys were on the case …

Here is their 10 min Video clip from outside Trump Tower press conference…

  • It’s hilarious how the Trump cult fanatics they interview were all like “it’s a rigged trial because it’s NY“, but just 14 miles away at Trump’s Bronx rally they were bragging about crowd size and yelling how NY is “MAGA Country“.

Bonus Items

The Internet have been having fun with the Guilty verdict, and rightly so, the man has been a constant source of stress for millions, he deserves nothing but mockery.

Here is a selection that I randomly picked for you to enjoy …

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